[UN]fairy tale of mine

A couple of days ago a person I follow on twitter posted: “It is tough when you find out life is not a fairy tale.” I couldn’t hold myself and answered “Tough it is still a story. Make it special and make it your own.”  I know… I know! It is a too romantic point of view. But that is what I am, I believe in love  – I should’ve said endless love – and all the things that come with it. Yeah! These girls still exist… one in a million of course.

So, since then I have this sentence in my head. Life is tough. I could easily add that is not fair, even better not fairy, it is struggling, crazy but totally worthy. I have been wondering what kind of story is mine. I actually don’t know. But I want it to be the kind of story you want to tell you grandchildren and great grandchildren, the kind you can hear a thousand times. I want to make it special.

I try to enjoy every single moment, because the great things in life are always the simple things… I heard it in a song and lived it everyday . Also as any young person I got to think that I never have time enough and I am always in a hurry. I’ve got to know with a poet that there will be time enough for decisions ans indecisions, visions and revisions then I will find time in a minute. And with time I will realize how a song can change my mood; or how I can make up stories just by taking a look at the sky; or how one word can make me smile… These things make my story special, quite unique. Most of all I can’t forget that the  One who created me did it for a purpose, and He made me the way I am so I could live my story the way it is supposed to be. Life is certainly not fairy, it is quite realistic. Mine is a interesting – one of a kind – special – and definitely unfairy  tale. But I try hard to make it worthy living day by day, maybe even making it fairy for me.

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So many things…

Alright! I’m a girl and as any girl in the world I can think-do-speak-and whatever else about so many things at one time. I’m back from vacation and I do have lots and lots of things to tell… Where should I start? [Btw this is going to be a biiiggg post, don;t go on if you’re not feeling like] December was sort of weird! For some reason I was still waiting to see some real winter. So, every Saturday I felt like going ice skating as I did before except for I’m living under a hot as hell sun that melts me every single morning. I can tell it was sort of frustrating, although I did many cool things as: crossing part of a lake swimming just to jump from a platform[moment of insanity] or riding a jet ski or staying ALL DAY LONG at home just to read. Yeah! I know it wasn’t THAT cool, but I had fun. X-mas came then New Year’s eve and things got lit bit worse. After all what’s that without snow??? BUt I got through it again with my head up high. DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA. Finally January came and the countdown with it. ACUÍPE was coming to me. The trip was awesome and tiresome and lotofthings-some. I got my color back after a week of tanning, I met so many friends that I’ve been missing. It was more than I could ask for actually thanks to my friends. It was like screaming DUTCH BLITZ after the faster and most complicated Blitz match. It was something from laughing out loud to crying as a baby… Do you know the feeling when you feel like your vacation just started and things are getting perfect then you remeber: Holly Cow! I work tomorrow morning? YEAH! RIGHT! Not really enjoyable thought… Maybe a little, after all kids a fun too. Then back to work I finally got my kids groups [when I say kids I mean little little kids]. I was so excited. I do love kids they make my day happier no matter what. Then the classes started, I found out I got some RHS(really hard stds) BUT THAT’S OKAY! I can handle them. My first kids group was freaking cute and smart. THEN… tan tan tan tan… drum’s roll Today came, and I had the most cute and funny kids group until 5 of 9 started to cry. I WANT MY MOM! That was what they were saying [I’m really thinking about teaching them that sentence in English, at least they would practice a lot.] For real, it freaked me out! I thought to myself: Who thought I could handle it? My helper[ Debs I couldn’t make it without u] helped me so much. 4 teachers were there to calm them down. After couple of endless minutes SOME of them were okay coloring – happy – no crying. But I still had couple of them sort of frustrating. With all the mess going on I felt unable to do it. For a moment I felt as I could not teach them. But at the same time I really wanted to do it. Take the challenge. I can’t lie I loved them. Harder it is more I’ll like it. After the class one of the boys came back to show his classroom to his family and show their teachers… this is priceless. Oh! How did I forget about it??? Also this afternoon one of my classes was recorded for a kinda famous-really famous- channel. Yes! This all happened to me today. And it’s just the beginning of the semester. Big long freaking day. And my classes at university didn’t even start. [ah! I got a new job too I’m teaching in another regular school – I would say it’s different, funny, but different. I liked it tough.] Interesting Interesting Year. Welcoming myself to 2010. I didn’t eve get to the homehood thing or … forget it. I’ll tell it another day.

Their life time

He used to wonder that he still had a life time. That’s all she knew for sure about him when she realized it was him. She used to wonder with who she would spend her life time. Somehow since she was a little girl, she knew where, when and how she wanted to fall for someone. Apparently the time was in a hurry and it tried to make her love when it was not time. But she knew the time was still about to come.
One day she got to be in the Place, by the time she wanted to be. Nevertheless, time had passed and she was not as excited about it as she used to be. Maybe, I could even say she had forgotten it. But the day came, and she was sitting on a chair in a living room, when he appeared. He was an old friend, but for a moment everything seemed new. He looked at her and for a moment she felt he looked at her soul and he knew everything on her mind.
From old friends they became best friends. They enjoyed every moment together. Their friendship were one of the most important things they had. They talked, made jokes, gave presents, blushed. She was now awaken, for all the certainty she had before about her love. It seemed clear to her that the love worthy fighting for is the one that she could win. She was fighting with all her heart. And the battle could be won in no time.
He was amazed with her. Her words were as a love song to his ears. He looked deeply at her eyes and faced the beauty of her being. He was sure that he wanted to spend his life time loving her every single day as it was the last one. She was sure that she would spend her life with him. And that was all she knew about them. Their lives were one now. A love time had come for them to spent as they wondered.

Contos de meninas!

Uma menina assistia tudo encantada. O céu era azulado com poucas nuvens. O sol escaldante nao surtia efeito nenhum, o calor não era nada diante da empolgação. E como uma criança, assim era ela. O simples era festa, não havia consequências. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious não foi suficiente para descrever e ela fez questão de aprender a palavra ao contrário. Direto da fonte! E que momento!

Cada personagem tinha parte em sua história. E num piscar de olhos ela estava num tapete a conhecer o mundo; calçava um sapato de cristal; comia uma maçã enfeitiçada; dormia um sono eterno até que seu princípe viesse acordá-la; encontrava a flor que transformaria o monstro em amor eterno. E ela percebeu que a vida tinha um pouco de conto de fadas sim.

A vida é um sonho colocado em prática a cada dia. E é assim que ela realiza seu sonho. De mulher a menina, de menina a princesa.

My Short Story


Actually I can’t really explain who I am, without first telling you who I was:
One day, when I was 7 years-old, my mom go sick. I thought it was just flu, but the weird thing was, I had never seen anyone undergo a surgery because of flu, so I wasn’t too sure what exactly it was. In spite of it all that, everything was okay; the important thing was that after the surgery, she was fine again.

My mom worked a lot, in fact I only saw her twice a day: in the morning when I woke up to go to school and at night when I waited for her to come back home. I loved her and I still do. I was a good daughter, not a perfect one, but a good one. There was also something about her that always amazed me. Even though, she had a lot of problems to deal with, there was always something that comforted her that I didn’t know about.

When I was 13 years old, she got that flu that I told you about before again, and I found out that it wasn’t a simple flu, but it was a really dangerous cancer. It was a scary year for my family.

Now, I can tell you who I was: I was a frightened girl, that didn’t want anyone to see that deep down; I was very sad and afraid of the future. I went through an entire year afraid of talking to my mother and looking her in the eye, because I didn’t want to hear the truth. I avoided it as much as I could. Instead, I preferred to live in my private world. It was hard seeing that woman who was so strong crying like a child.

In December, during school vacation, my mom stayed at home with me and for the first time we were having a mother-daughter relationship. It was then, during this short, but unforgettable period, that I could see who comforted her, and why she had that peace. In January of 2004, she died. However, she gave me a present before she left. She introduced me to a person who would substitute her.

Now I can tell you who I am today. This person my mother introduced me to, showed me real love, in spite of the fact that I ignored Him my whole life. He showed me that He wanted me in His family, and even if I didn’t want to live anymore because of everything that had happened, He was still willing to live for me. I just needed to let Him move me. It’s like a great friend of mine once said: I found a treasure!

Today, I’m very different. I don’t need to hide anything anymore because He wants me as I am so He can change me to the way He needs me. Now I have a purpose: To cooperate with a great family of many children, just like Him. I don’t live, I let Him live for me. I’ve learned that it’s necessary that He grows in me and that I become smaller and smaller everyday.

His name is Jesus, and what did He do? He died for me and gave me a brand new life. What do I have now? Peace and a hope that moves me day by day, grace by grace. What fills me? A wonderful love, which changed my heart into a thankful one. What Am I doing to thank Him? Living for him, and doing His will.

I’m not a very interesting person, you may not want to know me but I guarantee you that He is!I don’t know how to write very well, I’m not a journalist, or a writer, but I am a disciple, and one that wants to magnify His name with all that I have.  

So freaky totally wicked cool xD

Okay Guys! After all these months I’m definitely speaking english as a Selena Lovato Cyrus girl =) It’s not that I never spoke slangs or created some funny expressions… But anyways…

The good thing about it is that finnaly I think I can express in words how it is to be in Harvard! It is so to die for when your in the subway and then you take off in HARVARD SQUARE, and then everybody looks at you with a whataforeigngirlisdoinginharvardsquare face! HAUHAUHAUAHAU!!!!!!

Cambridge is the city of any student’s dreams. All the bistros, bookstores, libraries, restaurants, not to mention the parks and any other space where people can get together, it is just so freaky wicked cool! You can see all kinds of people – I mean ALL kinds – from funny japanese guy playin’ the guitar in the middle of the crowd to hiphop crew to even a kindageekfunnyfashionbrazilianstyle girl reading Mansfield Park.

And tell me about the classes! The teachers are great, the level is as high as the sky which means lots of study = millions of homework. Oh YEAH! That’s the boring part! I hate homeworks and americans love it! They try to measure your intelligence with homework. I’m def not the homework girl you know… so…. Anyways, I can handle it =) 

So I’m so enjoying it! Actually I’M FREAKING OUT! And I do it everytime I’m there… There’s this table in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of GREAT books  on it, all of them fro 4,5 or 6 dollars. That’s sick! After all people come to me and ask: How can you buy so many books there? Well,that’s is how! It’s been 5 weeks I buy  1 or 2 books every weekend ¬¬ I am so  bookahoolic!

That’s all folk! I just wanted you to know that I’m having lots of fun and so freaky totally wicked crazy cool moments =)

 

love,

C.

11 de janeiro de 2003.

11 de Janeiro de 2003, ha exatamente 6 anos a vida de uma menina estava mudando pra sempre. Naquele dia ela acordou com uma noticia um tanto quanto abaladora. Todavia a novidade – e aprendam desde ja: novidade nem sempre e algo bom, mas sempre ha um lado a se aproveitar – foi dada de uma forma delicada e eu diria que ate aceitavel. Algumas horas depois, ela estava sentada numa escadaria com seu celular na mao, a procura de um numero pra ligar, alguem com quem ela pudesse conversar sobre a novidade… Infelizmente, o que ela tinha esquecido e que durante sua vida ela nao havia permitido que muitas pessoas se aproximassem muito dela a ponto de naquele dia estarem dispostos a compartilhar daquilo.

Ao mesmo tempo que ela estava la, sem saber bem o que pensar, fazer ou falar, todas as outras pessoas estavam reunidas em uma sala, por tras da escadaria, lamentando, consolando, chorando… Mas nenhuma dessas acoes se aplicava a essa pobre menina. Um turbilhao de sentimentos passavem-se em seu coracao, com coracao de  menina, ela mal sabia nomea-los. E em sua cabeca parecia que um vulcao havia entrado em erupcao. Nao sei se voces ja passaram por isso, mas aquela menina nao estava acreditando no que estava acontecendo, parecia cena de novela, filme ou algum desses dramas literarios que ela havia lido… Mas estava realmente acontecendo com ela. Na epoca ela era muito nova pra tomar determinadas atitudes, mas hoje ela lembra de tudo com mais detalhes, calma, diria ate que prudencia… Talvez ela ate saiba nomear os sentimentos que se passaram, talvez ela nao ficasse tao abismada por nao ter tido pra quem ligar.

O fato e que depois daquela manha a menina virou mulher. E depois de 6 anos o que ela nao soube fazer ela aprendeu, e o choro preso foi solto, as palavras de consolo agora sao ditas, os sentimentos sao um tanto quanto claros. Apenas uma coisa nao mudou. Na manha seguinte ao acontecimento ela acordou achando que tudo havia sido um sonho, ou uma lembranca de algum dos tao amados livros lidos, e ate onde sei ela continua tendo essa mesma impressao, de que em algum momento ela vai acordar, mas nao so por causa daquele dia, mas por todas as outras coisas que aconteceram depois daquilo, hoje ela tem certeza de que sua vida parece ser filme. Com direito a perdas, ganhos, viagens e aventuras,  espera de um amor eterno e um final feliz. Bem, hoje nao tenho tanta certeza se ela quer acordar do sonho, pelo menos ate onde a conheco…